have beaten the monster

Posts : 31 Join date : 2013-05-14

yes its me again.....not many people use this forum it seems. but i will keep plugging away at the stuff....Bren and all the others who have lost their loved one to methadone.
so ive beaten the monster.....lost count on what days ive done so far....have gone sneezing mad.....its quite fun really. going for a bike ride again today- did 10 miles yesterday....the body is very weak but it is capable of doing more....its just those opiate receptors need to learn to live without.

waiting to hear from that documentary woman in America so we can chat on the phone. i will talk about the dangers of methadone to anyone who can hear me for the rest of my life

i will also get me a life away from methadone too....as it will be the first time in over 25 years ive been drug free.

its a wonderful life if you hang on for the good things to come i suppose.

keep plugging away about the dangers of methadone!!!

Posts : 31 Join date : 2013-05-14

i forgot to mention.....i can be absolutely relentless........ Smile

Subject: Re: have beaten the monster Mon Jun 03, 2013 11:08 am

Gooooood Morning , You have me laughing out loud. Yes, this is the right attitude to beat the Monster. Gee Whiz, 10 miles on the bike yesterday that is unreal, lol !!! The sneezing of all things may last the longest of all symptoms...I think you can handle that. I don't have a medical explaination for the sneezing but seems like it is another way of cleansing the body. Angelica, has had a lot of contacts about the documentary, she's excited at the response she's had. I might need to send you a medal or trophy for what all you've accomplished already, lol.I can't thank you enough for sharing your progress you are going to be a huge part of changing lives. Awesome work !!! Love, Bren

Posts : 31 Join date : 2013-05-14

yes im a bit mad.....bit of the old bi-polar. but i really think i cant make a new personality for myself at this late stage in my life...acceptance. all i can do is harness positive energy. sometimes this world needs mad people as some people have no energy at all and dont get things done.

Subject: Re: have beaten the monster Mon Jun 03, 2013 2:04 pm

It is Never to late to start a New Life !!! Your personality will probably change without the Methadone numbing your emotions any longer. I have helped with some people coming off Methadone by themselves that never really enjoyed music as if the Methadone killed all their senses. Food even taste different to some people. I want you to be excited about your new life...You Deserve It !!! Many people are afraid of change thinking there is something to fear. When the opposite is the truth the Silver Lining behind the clouds comes through. Love, Bren

Posts : 31 Join date : 2013-05-14

many thanks bren, its hard without anyone to talk to all the time- recovery can be tough because you dont have the health to go and work etc- i have even had to stop my voluntary work and i am missing it really badly. i am spending way too much time on my own here- and completely rely on the odd phone conversation or forum chat xxxxx

Subject: Re: have beaten the monster Tue Jun 04, 2013 7:59 am

You come here and write anytime you need to...this is the beginning of your recovery. You will receive support and encouragement. This Forum is for people as yourself just as much as for anyone else !!! I realize it's not the same face to face with the human touch. If I could hold your hand, sit with you and talk as long as you needed me I would. For now I need you to trust that I love and care about you as a person and your Recovery. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers asking God to supply you strength. You may be having some bad days however remember they are Temporary each day you get behind you is a blessing and so brave of you. I want my Wendy to live on through you, Sweet Girl. You have so much to offer in this lifetime don't you dare let that monster still your soul. Have you attended any NA meetings lately what do you think about that ? I'll be waiting to hear from you. Love, Bren XXOO

Posts : 31 Join date : 2013-05-14

hi many thanks for your wonderful message i have a meeting on wedensday. today is tough so i found your message a huge comfort. im thinking about my mum today whom i lost last year and i really miss her, so its good to remember these people but we must waste too many tears as they wouldnt want it and i know my mum and your Wendy want us to get out and live as full a life as possible.

Posts : 31 Join date : 2013-05-14

Hi Bren- the DF's were a mistake. i took them as i was scared. they are very short acting so the days have been OK- THE nights were bad. i had it in my mind that at least i was away from the methadone but all i did was take short acting opiates. so i stopped the df's and went back on the methadone. but i only allowed myself 2mls of methadone and that night i was burning up like a rocket all through the night- ran out of zoppies so didnt sleep for two nights. now im on 1.5mls of methadone which is nothing......its a pyschological thing only. im not burning up any more- i have ridden through the worse- but dragging my body around and get very- very tired. because i cant do much i get very inactive and bored.
but it was that or be in the methadone haze....and i chose withdrawals. but there was a reason i was on it for 20 years i think. i can give myself one hug massive pat on the back. its a long road. what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

Posts : 31 Join date : 2013-05-14

i read the title of this thread and laugh..."I have beaten the monster"...how naive. im hurting right now.....youn dont get off of this stuff without a hard fight...unless its not been long that you have been on it.
i came back on to say- no signs....but i do have my mums perfume in the bathroom- i use it as an air freshner as did she...and it seems never ending. when is it going to end? all my other perfumes my mum bought me have now gone.....but this is an endless bottle it seems. she passed away in october last year...its now june.....i keep spraying the thing....will let you know when it finally runs out....its a bottomless bottle of perfume